It’s one of those night. When I feel like being a poet, a writer. My thoughts hang heavy ready to aggregate and precipitate into palpable ideas, beautiful sharp objects. Maybe to pierce. Maybe just to behold
Courage. In a world that profits and is built on our insecurity and self-doubt it takes courage to strive for what you want. It takes courage to say you don’t want something too. Courage to decide to live the way that’s best for you and courage not to have to defend yourself at every turn.
Me? I don’t know if I’ll have the courage, wisdom or ability to do what I want to do. Most of what I want to do. But it takes a daily kind of courage to keep going despite increasingly great uncertainty. And courage to wait with good heart and patience.
I want to be a Doctor. To be skilled and knowledgeable about the human body to not only save and enhance lives but inspire and touch real peoples’ lives through the care and treatment I give. I want to stand between a person and the veil of death. At least try.
But maybe I won’t.
I want to be a writer. To add my 2 cents to the literary world. It is the writers, the poets and artists that truly capture what life is like in a time and place. They keep the giritty beauty or life burning by capturing, preserving and sharing it. And they are so underrecognised. I want to write about my experiences in hope that it will touch someone like me somewhere some place to be something completely new and unique.
But maybe I won’t.
I want to love a Man who loves me as a hurricane. I want to travel the world and understand people and cultures. I want to learn from all sources of life- books, nature, movies, history, people, music and of course experience. I want to build a home to go back to and stability for my parents and sisters.
But maybe I wont. Because I’m an Icarus, dazzled by the ephemeral sun, too excited about the prospect to realise that inside I am burning myself to a crisp with my own dreams.
But until that happens, I’ll try and keep that in mind but dare to believe that I will achieve it.