Childhood is such an interesting time for us all- many of us ruminate over many things from our childhood yet say very little about our theories and possible psychological complexities that come from childhood memories. I think it’s interesting that in many ways we build our lives as pyramids with the simplicity and broad range of experiences from our childhood being the base. Alternatively, the path of our lives can be seen as a spiral, with our childhood being in the centre, our core of development and base nature, everything we do in life surrounds and parallels it but gets further and further away.
Firstly what charcaterises childhood? Dwelling upon this question I came to the conclusion that the childhood innocence thus childhood is about trusting completely in another in a very unknowing and pure state-it’s a love before words or any real understanding. It’s the time period at which you’re cursious about everything yet satisfied with the answers given to you and want for nothing?
Childhood for humans is a state of being that wears off and fades sometimes with time other times with experience. Nonetheless I still tend to say my childhood ended when my sisters and my mother left Lansing, Michigan for Johannesburg South Africa on the 21st of December 2007.
At first I stil retained the innocence and trust that characterises children but as time went on that year, I began to see things for what they really were and it broke my heart that I could no longer pretend. One of the biggest lessons I learnt that really ended my childhood was the fact that my Parents did not have all the answers and lied. I guess it never occurred to child me that my parents would lie and stretch the truth and when I realosed this my mind began down that road of uncertain questioning that inevitably leads to gorwing up of the mind. It hurt child-me to know that just because they promised it didn’t mean that it would happen. They promised we’d go back to America, that we’d get American Girl Dolls and 600$ for accessories, that South Africa would be an adventure. And as promise by promise was broken I relaised that even the best laid plans can go to ruin. That you ultimately only ever have the present. Hold on to your memories but not too tight.
Currently, the lesson I struggle with the most is letting go of beautiful things to allow even better things to come into your life. Being in a zen state even knowing certain doors may never be open again.